The fate of humanity

What is this moment?

The moment you realize you can never hide from the truth

that you are not exempt from all the pain that comes from being born on this earth

The moment of notice that no amount of sedation can lift this burden from your heart

and you just keep living and giving and desperately waiting for the heart beat to stop

…

So that your heart can stop bleeding

bleeding from the pain of reality

waking you up from the fantasy that you could possibly avoid and circumvent

the experience -- when too many greats have warned you previously

They say its lonely at the top

but I was already lonely when I was at the bottom so I thought the loneliness would stop

but it only get worse

as you send out love

all humanity has is dirt

and they throw it in your face

drag you through the mud by your ankles

tiedd to a horse

then they apologize like it makes it better

like that magically takes the dagger out of your back

erases the whip lashes

and ejects the arrows from your heart

but it doesn't

and the world stands there with its hand out

the other fist in their mouth

keeping them from choking on their tongues 

because their too fucked up to even say thank you

and the moment you put something valuable in their hand and help them to remove their fists even for an artificial thanks that fist is just used to punch you in the chest at your request for freedom

freedom from the illusion

the illusion that the world cares

because it doesn't

love doesn't exist unless you're the one giving

and how can so few ever have enough to satiate the greedy thirst of humanity

humanity has died

and it will not be resuscitated

My hope in humanity is lost

but I will never give up on myself.